I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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