he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
