I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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