If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
this is an emotional support booty call
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
