Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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