dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
