You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
