Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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