come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
