So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
