Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
