Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
either way he was missing a nipple.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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