So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
