you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
