Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
