Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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