I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
