Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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