Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
