oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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