I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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