Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
