I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
