Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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