I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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