Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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