there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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