I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
