Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
