where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
