I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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