So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
