I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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