Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
