Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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