im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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