You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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