My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
