im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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