thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
