we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
