i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
