He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
