I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
