I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
