ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
