But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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