I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
