I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
