i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
